


If You Find Yourseld Caught In Love (James w/ Thomas)

by gloriousdae



Series: If You Find Yourself Caught In Love [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gay, M/M, he doesn't really care though, he just doesn't want to hurt Thomas, james is gay and he's just figuring that out, nothing sad happens, so James will be straighter than Laurens in Winters Ball, thomas is just sad anyway so that doesn't count
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 23:03:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10398135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gloriousdae/pseuds/gloriousdae
Summary: James realizing he's in love with Thomas, they're freshman in high school, I don't know if I put that in there, so I'm putting it here because it's important.It's the first in a series of 6 maybe, or 4, I haven't decided, because I know I'm doing one for Thomas, and then Lams, but I don't know about Mullette.It also belongs in my series "Things Are Really Great Here... Sort Of" series, but I can't figure out how to post to two series.





	

It wasn't something that just happened, many things caused it to happen. But that build up went unnoticed to James, he knew it was there, but not until it was too late to realize it. It was just, one day he was sitting normally with Thomas, sitting under the bleachers after school, something that had become quite normal for them. And then the next day they were sitting in the same place, doing practically the same things, but the feeling was different.  
James was laying on his stomach with a piece of binder paper in front of him, his algebra book propped against the support beam, his calculator had been stolen by a certain curly haired boy, so he was going rather slowly with his homework today.  
Thomas was perched up on one of the support beams, sitting almost in a way similar to a stone gargoyle, at least James thought so, he wasn't even doing his math homework, he was reading a book in some language, James didn't even try to recognize it.  
"Tommy, if you're not doing math can I have my calculator back?" James asks, looking up to his friend, the beam he was sitting on was about five feat off the ground, so Thomas was even higher than usual, it didn't help that James was practically flat on the ground in terms of height at the moment.  
"If you come get it, you know what pocket I keep it in." Thomas says with a shrug, not looking down. Thomas knew, had to know, that James couldn't get it. Thomas had his bag hanging off a bolt above his head, and James knew he wouldn't hand the bag to him.  
James let out an annoyed sigh and just continued on slowly doing his work, a calculator wasn't needed, the numbers weren't too big, and it was just multiplication that he needed to doing, but it was slower without a calculator, and he would've been done ten minutes ago if he had it.  
"Hey, Jimmy, are you doing anything tomorrow?" Thomas asks about five minutes later, causing James to lose his train of thought, meaning he'd have to start the problem over when he was done talking.  
"Thomas, please name one time I've had plans on a weekend." James says flatly, after a second he rolled onto his back so he didn't have to strain his neck to look up at Thomas, he moved his bag to be a pillow(well, it had already been one under his chest, but now under his head).  
"Good point." Thomas says with a nod,  
"Anyway, the reason you interrupted me?" James asks, he was beginning to get annoyed with Thomas for a third reason, he wasn't looking at him, why wasn't he looking at him? First he kept his his calculator hostage. Then he interrupts him to talk, and doesn't even try to make eye contact while they talk. Thomas had been increasingly annoying the last few weeks, James couldn't figure out in what way exactly, but he knew he was.  
"Could I spend the night?" Thomas asks, finally he set his book on his lap, balancing it there, and then looked down at James.  
And James had to take a moment to respond. Usually it was always an immediate nod and a yes, but this time, for whatever reason, he had to take a moment. Just a moment to look at Thomas. His face was framed by his hair in an amazing way do to him looking straight down, his hair already framed his face normally, but it was just more at this moment. Then there was his face, and James couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but something made his smile brighter, it was the same mischievous not yet a smirk smile that he always had, but something was different, a good different. His eyes seemed brighter too, they seemed to sparkle more, but they really weren't. Nothing was actually really difficult, but James was sure something had to be, because Thomas looked, well the best word to use would be beautiful.  
Then James realized he still haven't given his usual answer.  
"I don't know why you even ask anymore, Tommy, you always can." James says, shaking his head slightly, he thought that reply would give him the best excuse for shaking his head, which he just felt he needed to do.  
"I'm trying to be polite, Jimmy James, let me at least attempt." Thomas says, now he was smirking, and it just looked more, more something, James didn't dare use beautiful to describe it(although it would fit), but it was something.

Walking home an hour later they were silent for the first five minutes, and then James reached out and took Thomas' hand, a father usual thing for them, but this time it was different. It was always a nice warm feeling to have Thomas' hand in his own, but this was a new type of warmth, one that made him realize where the person who first said "butterflies in your stomach" was coming from, because James wasn't one to describe feelings in such a cliche way. But a cliche was just what felt right to describe that. Feeling Thomas squeeze his hand just enough to be felt sent a whole new set of butterflies free.  
"James, are you feeling alright?" Thomas asks, his voice pulling James thoughts away from his touch.  
"Yeah, I've actually managed to stay well for two weeks straight, why?" James asks confused, he hated how he had to look up almost completely to see Thomas, and couldn't even see his full face anymore due to his curtain of curls.  
"Your cheeks are red." Thomas states simply, then he brushed his hair behind his ear, then he put his free hand to James' forehead, then each cheek in turn. "You don't have a fever, you're just red." He says with a shrug,  
"Huh, I feel fine." James says simply with a shrug of his own, although he knew his cheeks were read, he could feel the heat of his blush, he didn't know why, nothing was out of the normal.

James was half asleep in Thomas' arms out on the roof. He was wearing Thomas' purple jacket because Thomas had decided he would get sick if he didn't wear it, even though it was practically still summer in terms of weather, the September night was warm, but Thomas told James they wouldn't go out onto the roof unless James wore the jacket, so he did, unwilling, but he did it.  
Now he was glad he did, it was well past two in the morning now, and to James it was rather cold, but not to Thomas. The jacket was countless sizes too big for James, but that only added to the comfort of the thing. Once Thomas realized James was beginning to fall asleep he had put the hood up, it covered James whole face almost, just his mouth and chin visible. His arms weren't even in the sleeves, they were pulled out and wrapped around himself.  
Despite his friend being nearly asleep, Thomas went on speaking, he knew if he stopped James would be fully awake again and try to fill the silence, he also knew James needed sleep, if he didn't get enough he got sick. Of course, it didn't take a lot to make James sick, but what Thomas did know about avoiding it, he tried to do.  
"Really, it's amazing how the universe, and time, and life, and everything, works, like, everyone is going to die, and that's terrifying, but I think, since everyone has to, I think I'd be alright if everyone around me did. I mean, not to say I wouldn't be upset, I would be, especially if I lost you, Jimmy, I'd be devastated, actually, losing you would probably be the one death I wouldn't be able to recover from. I hope for two things, one, we remain friends for the rest of our lives, two that when we're much older, I hope I die before you, because I know you would be able to carry on without me, I couldn't, and I know if you were awake you'd tell me I could, probably say that I'm either convinced I can't because I'm tired or just because we haven't really grown up yet, but I really don't think I could do it. I mean, I managed without you, but that before I really met you, and before we became friends." Then Thomas went silent for a few moments, it was in those moments that James fell asleep, was fully asleep. "But anyway, my theory is we're just on a loop, everyone. We live, we die, and then after however long it takes the world to end, it starts again from the beginning, we get back to the year we were born, and we're born, we live, we do the exact same things, and it just goes like this. But I think that everything happens for a reason, and that reason being it's already happened countless times before."

James woke up in Thomas' arms at sunrise, the sun faced the back side of the house in the morning, so James and Thomas were the first to get the light. James went to stretch his arms, but then he was stopped, because his arms weren't in the sleeves, Thomas gave a soft laugh.  
"Here, Jimmy, let me help you." He says; getting the sleeves and holding them out so James could put his arms in them, once he had, he just leaned back against Thomas, his eyes shut tight but not asleep. "Good morning to you too, Jimmy James." He says with another light laugh,  
"Shhh, I'm trying to go back to sleep." James whispers softly, his voice muffled by Thomas' chest,  
"Why don't we go into your room then, sleeping beauty?" Thomas offers, saying the last two words rather teasingly,  
"If we do that, it gives you the excuse to not be the best pillow." James mumbles,  
"Well, I'm still pretty tired, so we can just go back to sleep in your bed instead of out here." Thomas says, he usually wasn't one to go back to sleep, he would get up around sun rise and stay up until late hours.

A few weeks had passed, the weather grew increasingly colder as October neared. Now it was Sunday afternoon and the two friends were sitting at the library on one of the couches. James leaning on Thomas. Thomas with an arm around James. It was honestly something normal for them. James was wearing Thomas' jacket again, actually he hadn't given it back, Thomas was beginning to wonder if he'd ever get it back.  
James was content with the hood pulled up over his face, blocking out a majority of the fluorescent lights in the teen room, he just liked the feeling, being held by Thomas, having the world blocked out and just feeling Thomas hold him, feeling Thomas' steady breath from the way his chest rose and fell. And then there was his voice, he was reading their history book out loud quietly, James wasn't actually getting what he was saying, just that he was speaking.

James knew full well he should give Thomas back his jacket, but he didn't, Thomas had every opportunity to take it, and he didn't take it, so James decided to keep it for as long as he could.  
He had also figured out what was different about Thomas. Nothing. It was James that was different, he's the one that stupidly fell in love with his best friend. Thomas hadn't changed what so ever, it was the same Thomas, and James wanted to know how he ended up falling.  
He couldn't tell Thomas for so many reasons. The first being, he tells Thomas and he might lose him. Despite what Thomas thought, he couldn't lose him, it'd hurt too much. If James lost Thomas he wouldn't know what to do with himself. Sure him and Thomas already acted like there was something between them, it took nearly three years for James to get past Thomas' walls, and he still had a lot more to get through, he couldn't risk back pedaling because of this.  
James rather love him as a best friend, take what he could get, so not to make Thomas uncomfortable. Of course his other feelings couldn't be ignored, that'd be impossible. But James could just try his best to only show platonic feelings towards Thomas, at least for now.  
But James would tell him, when he felt the moment right. And he'd tell him as soon as possible. Just right now wasn't a good time. They were still freshmen, Thomas would say they were too young to fall in love, which maybe they were.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to let y'all know I got an Instagram account with the same user on here, @tb_is_writing_trash so if you want to follow me there, that'd be cool.  
> Also, I'm using my friend as a base for how young Thomas looks, because he looks like a younger version of Daveed, so that's why he has long curly hair.


End file.
